Money matters

When you're going through the honeymoon phase of your relationship, money may not be much of an issue. Nonetheless, as the relationship progresses, power struggles and control issues around money may just start surfacing. This creates tension that if not resolved, can put a serious damper on the relationship. Where critical differences exist in your financial expectations, try to negotiate. Work out a way of managing your finances that gives you both some control. In any case, if one is earning more than the other, he/she shouldn't hold all the control because even if the other is contributing less in the financial aspect, that does not mean he/she is contributing any less in other areas of the relationship. Over all of this, if there are still issues, sit and talk things over. Discussion and cooperation may not confer instant solutions to difficult financial issues, but knowing you and your partner agree about how to approach the situation will help maintain the zing in your relationship.


Arguments by nature are difficult and can even be hurtful and frustrating. And yet, they are a normal natural aspect of any relationship. Like the salt to meat dishes, they add flavor to the lives of couples and help build better relationships. On the other hand, if disputes are handled poorly, they can also potentially wreck a strong relationship. So, in order to avoid this, every disagreement should be carefully handled in a way that would boost relationship satisfaction and pave the way for new growth together. Truly, it's fun to fight and make up (and out) after knowing you have worked together through it all.

Respect

Respect, R-E-S-P-E-C-T as Aretha Franklin sang it, is a critical component of freedom. It's the partner of freedom in that respecting another person's competence and individuality provides the positive support so important to freedom.

A contrast makes this point: suppose someone grants you the freedom to follow your dream with an underlying current of disrespect. It might sound something like, "Go ahead if you must, I'll be right here after you've chased that dream." In other words, the person thinks you'll fail and you'll come crawling back.

The same scenario with respect might sound like, "Go ahead, I know how important this is to you and I support you 100%. I know you can do it!" Obviously, we'd all like to hear this latter response because of the inherent respect and support it conveys.

Committed Relationship

Fundamental to a strong relationship is commitment. Commitment to making the relationship strong and healthy is the foundation on which it can grow. Relationships take work. They take effort. Like life itself, relationships are dynamic, ever changing because we are ever changing. A strong relationship requires continuous nurturing, and that takes commitment.

Commitment to the relationship means unconditionally caring about maintaining and improving the relationship, even during times of anger or disappointment. There may be times when you aren't even sure you like the other person, but if you're committed you'll spend the effort to sustain the relationship during tough times.

Resolving relationship problem

Keeping a relationship strong and happy is one of the hardest things to do in life. In order to make things work, both partners have to learn how to bend and adjust throughout the years. There are a wide variety of problems and situations that can pop p which test the strength of relationship overtime and can potential cause it to end.

The best thing to do when you begin the process of solving relationship problems is to sit down and make a list with your partner. This can be done either separately or together, but it should include issues that both of your have with the relationship. By doing this, you can see the various sides of the problems you face and can better go about fixing them.

Talking about your feelings and working through your problems is something that men struggle with more than women, but it is a necessary part of saving a relationship. Each of you should take turns saying how you feel about a specific situation and you should both avoid using accusing words or phrases that make it sound like everything is your partner’s fault.

Independence is good

Because you'll not always be thinking about your every move to make sure he's there to hold your hand. And by not always mentally editing your actions, thoughts and feelings to make sure he approves, you'll have more inner confidence too.

You'll also have a better relationship because no one wants a clingy, dependent mate. They want a partner with their own ideas, their own passions, their own life; someone who stays because they care, not because they're scared of being alone. The bottom line is that while too much is a bad sign, some interdependence is vital in love.

Improving relationship

There is no universal, ideal model against which a relationship can be evaluated. A "good relationship" is one that works for both partners and effectively supports them in achieving their goals. If this is not working at some point, it does not necessarily mean that the couple requires therapy. All relationships tend to encounter problems during stressful periods and at different stages, and many couples are able to resolve their difficulties without professional help. Some couples find that they are able to do so at one stage but not at another. Others may find that they are continually unhappy with their relationship. Sometimes one partner feels frustrated and misunderstood while his or her mate is totally unaware of the situation.

If the couple are unable to resolve issues in a manner that is acceptable to both partners, professional help should be considered. Many couples only consider therapy as a last resort. It may however, be helpful at any time, and sometimes seeking therapy soon after things get "stuck" prevents a buildup of frustration and disappointment.

Couple therapy is a means of resolving problems and conflicts that couples have not been able to handle effectively on their own. It involves both partners sitting down with a trained professional to discuss their thoughts and feelings. The aim is to help them gain a better understanding of themselves and their partner, to decide if they need and want to make changes, and if so, to help them to do so.

Listening, Talking, Then Speaking

If a conversation is brought up, and an argument happens, you should try to think why the argument came about. Sometimes you can provoke the argument, and you are not aware you are doing so.

For example, constantly criticizing your partner or dwelling on small details in a negative way is a way of provoking confrontation and not knowing it. Maybe you always harp on her clothes. Alternately, perhaps you incessantly complain that he's late when he comes home.

It doesn't matter what it is, if you discover this is happening, you should try to listen carefully when you speak. You should try to look into the future what will happen if you happen to say this or do that. You are the person who knows your partner better than anyone else; therefore use this to your advantage. Understand what triggers the arguments, and you may be able to solve them before they start.

Making time for one another

There's no simple way around it, our lives are busy places. That time spent elsewhere, though, means time you're choosing not to focus on your relationship, and that can cause some real problems. Set aside time just to spend with your partner.

After being in the relationship for a long period of time, this can be the only way get control of the spiraling problems you may be experiencing. Try to set aside some time where you can have a good conversation or go for a walk. Setting aside some time to enjoy your time together can help make a healthier relationship.

Take Your Relationship To a New Place

Getting away from the norm can be a healthy thing for a long relationship. Long relationships tend to create habits and routines that are hard to break for both partners. It is important to stay spontaneous in your relationship and this is not a new concept but a very true one. You can easily fall into routines such as getting up, going to work, coming home, eating, watching TV and then going to bed.

Try to spice it up a little and make different plans every few days and a couple of weekends a month. Remember, though, it is difficult to make these changes every single day, so try to space them out. Shaking things up too much can be as big of a problem as sticking with a routine.

There are lots of ways to break those routines. It doesn't matter if it is for a week, weekend, or just the day, as some time away from the norm can be very therapeutic. A nice option is to find a place where the romance can ignite, as you have some alone time with your partner.

Unfortunately, until it happens to them, many people do not think that living with an individual can make them lonelier than they've ever been in their lives. Studies indicate, though, that thousands in a committed relationship feel alone.

Not many people in relationships spend a lot of time with their partner, and they tend to take them for granted. Sometimes there are days when the couple does not even talk about anything that has real meaning. This can be negative on both sides, and by exerting some effort to pay more attention to your partner it can bring about a healthier relationship. Getting away from those old routines can help get the two of you where you need to be.

Rituals are habits that build and strengthen a relationship. One couple had the following "greeting ritual" at night when the husband came home:

Our actions affect the way we feel. How are your greeting and good-bye rituals?

Here are some rituals you and your spouse should consider working on:

* Daily e-mailing each other with a compliment.

* Daily phone call. (especially important for husbands to do)

* Anniversaries deserve special attention. Plan to do something both of you really enjoy, rather than feeling stuck two days before your anniversary arrives and then running out to get some flowers.

* Before you turn in for the night, try saying two compliments to each other. This means coming up with something new each night!

* It is essential to have a "date night" at least every other week.

Good communication to resolve hot issues

The technique that every couple must learn is called the "listener-speaker technique." The problem with the way most couples argue is that they try to find solutions before fully giving each other the chance to say what they need to say. The speaker-listener technique ensures that before you can engage in solution talk, each person feels they have been fully heard.

Here's how it works: One person holds an object in their hand which symbolizes that he or she has the floor. While one person has the floor, the other person can only listen by repeating back or paraphrasing what the other person said. The listener can stop the speaker if s/he is saying too much for the listener to repeat back.

When couples use this technique, it automatically ensures that each person will be able to say everything s/he needs to say without interruption, rebuttals, criticism or attack. Only after each person has been fully "heard," do you then proceed to problem solving.

Qualities of good relationship

All relationships have some adjustment periods, but being hurt shouldn’t be part of being in love. Loving relationships have good qualities, such as support from your partner, a willingness to communicate, a desire to compromise, and open an honest communication. When you do not have these fundamental qualities in a relationship, that relationship isn’t likely to grow, and become something that you desire.


There are many qualities that make relationships, (1)good support, (2)compromise, and (3)open and honest communication are just a few of these qualities that you may desire in a relationship. Engage only in relationships where both partners can openly discuss their wants and needs, this can take practice. These three qualities alone will help you nurture and develop a deeper relationship with your partner.

Committed Relationship

Relationships are essential if you want to live your life to the fullest. In fact, relationships should be your top priority. That’s why we all need to learn how to build good relationships. Good relationships not only help us meet our needs but also make our life more fulfilling.

Fundamental to a strong relationship is commitment. Commitment to making the relationship strong and healthy is the foundation on which it can grow. Relationships take work. They take effort. Like life itself, relationships are dynamic, ever changing because we are ever changing. A strong relationship requires continuous nurturing, and that takes commitment.

Commitment to the relationship means unconditionally caring about maintaining and improving the relationship, even during times of anger or disappointment. There may be times when you aren't even sure you like the other person, but if you're committed you'll spend the effort to sustain the relationship during tough times.