Show Respect!

A good exercise for every husband is to try to show your wife respect. This dovetails with my previous point, but goes beyond that specific situation.

A major part of showing respect is to avoid the trap of being hyper-critical. Don’t criticize the way your wife dresses, cooks meals, parks the car or walks the dog. You might think you are instructing your wife, but you are actually showing disrespect for the decisions you make.

Actions are just as important as words. Don’t make decisions that normally a married couple makes together. This shows you have no respect for her opinion.

Also, try to avoid certain intonations with your wife, the kind that can be described as “talking down” to her. A woman can pick up on these as well or better than a man can. These tell her you have contempt for whatever is she’s doing, that you are treating her like a child or even your pet. Showing a lack of respect is one of the surest ways to poison a marriage.

Reasons for getting married

The primary motive for getting married is because you love each other and want to be together, but each of you may have other reasons for wanting to wed - other needs that you have to fulfil if the marriage is going to work.

Which of the following reasons for marrying apply to you? Tick as many as you agree with, then compare notes and talk through your differences.

Your partner's reasons for marrying may not fit with yours. If you're feeling angry or upset you need to talk the issue through. A common difference is one partner marrying as a sign of commitment but the other partner marrying because he or she wants children. The aim of this exercise is to get to a point where you understand, appreciate and respect each other's motives, even if they differ

Respect

Respect, R-E-S-P-E-C-T as Aretha Franklin sang it, is a critical component of freedom. It's the partner of freedom in that respecting another person's competence and individuality provides the positive support so important to freedom.

A contrast makes this point: suppose someone grants you the freedom to follow your dream with an underlying current of disrespect. It might sound something like, "Go ahead if you must, I'll be right here after you've chased that dream." In other words, the person thinks you'll fail and you'll come crawling back.

The same scenario with respect might sound like, "Go ahead, I know how important this is to you and I support you 100%. I know you can do it!" Obviously, we'd all like to hear this latter response because of the inherent respect and support it conveys.

CameraCritters #6

Committed Relationship

Fundamental to a strong relationship is commitment. Commitment to making the relationship strong and healthy is the foundation on which it can grow. Relationships take work. They take effort. Like life itself, relationships are dynamic, ever changing because we are ever changing. A strong relationship requires continuous nurturing, and that takes commitment.

Commitment to the relationship means unconditionally caring about maintaining and improving the relationship, even during times of anger or disappointment. There may be times when you aren't even sure you like the other person, but if you're committed you'll spend the effort to sustain the relationship during tough times.

Today's Flower #3

Camera Critters #5

Resolving relationship problem

Keeping a relationship strong and happy is one of the hardest things to do in life. In order to make things work, both partners have to learn how to bend and adjust throughout the years. There are a wide variety of problems and situations that can pop p which test the strength of relationship overtime and can potential cause it to end.

The best thing to do when you begin the process of solving relationship problems is to sit down and make a list with your partner. This can be done either separately or together, but it should include issues that both of your have with the relationship. By doing this, you can see the various sides of the problems you face and can better go about fixing them.

Talking about your feelings and working through your problems is something that men struggle with more than women, but it is a necessary part of saving a relationship. Each of you should take turns saying how you feel about a specific situation and you should both avoid using accusing words or phrases that make it sound like everything is your partner’s fault.